Episodes

My health has reached a point where pushing through no longer works. In this short episode, I explain why I’m ending Season Four early and taking the rest of September away from the podcast. I need my limited energy for treatment, appointments, symptoms, and the work of getting through each day. I also need space to experience this difficult period without turning every part of it into something productive. I’ll return at the end of September to begin Season Five with more stories from life insi...

In this episode of A Body Rebels: A Chronic Illness Podcast, I talk about exercise while living with heart failure, sarcoidosis, and severe fatigue after movement. A walk feels good while I’m outside, then the real cost shows up at home through heavy legs, harder breathing, a shower, and the need to lie down. I still want movement in my life. I also need enough energy for my private-chef work and the rest of my day. I’m learning to treat recovery as part of movement instead of proof I failed. T...

In this episode, I’m talking about ambiguous loss and the private grief of missing the person I was before chronic illness changed my body. An old pair of shoes, a photograph, or even a heavy kitchen tool can bring that earlier life rushing back. I explore how illness has changed my independence, work, relationships, and identity, and why accepting my current body doesn’t require me to erase who I used to be, deny what I’ve lost, or pretend I’m grateful for every change. This podcast is narrate...

I’m sharing what happened when a limping black bear crossed the road in front of me on a quiet drive through rural Connecticut. Watching that injured animal continue into the woods brought my own experience with chronic illness into sharper focus. I’ve spent years measuring strength by what I could once do, how quickly I could move, and how well I could hide the struggle. That bear gave me another way to look at determination, physical limitations, acceptance, and the careful steps required to k...

I missed an episode this week, and there was a very good reason. My fifth attempt to come off prednisone after twenty years hit me harder than I ever expected. With methotrexate now being used as a steroid-sparing medication, I’ve managed to reach just 2.5 milligrams of prednisone, but the pain, nausea, edema and crushing fatigue have been brutal. I’m sharing what happened when I became so exhausted at work that even standing at the stove no longer felt safe, and why I finally chose myself first...

When a chronic illness flare sends me back to bed with oxygen, physical exhaustion can quickly become fear about my future. I start wondering whether I’ll recover or whether my independence is slipping away permanently. I used to hide those fears from my wife because I thought I was protecting her. Now I understand that honesty means trusting her and remaining honest with myself. In this episode, I confront uncertainty, physical decline, and the frightening question of whether one terrible day c...

In this episode, I talk about a driver’s license renewal that turned into an unexpected panic at the DMV. One question on one form forced me to think about my AICD, heart medication, and the fear of losing the independence I count on every day. I’m looking at medical honesty, the cost of disclosure, and what happens when protecting my health suddenly feels tangled up with protecting my freedom. This podcast is narrated using an AI voice. The words, reflections, and lived experience are my own. ...

Why does time seem to move faster once chronic illness becomes part of your life? In this episode of Surviving Chronic Illness: Life In A Body That Rebels, I reflect on the strange speed of adulthood, the emotional weight of creating something personal, and why the word “peace” drew more attention than any medical term ever could. For people living with sarcoidosis, heart failure, rare disease, or any long-term condition, peace can start to feel less like a luxury and more like the thing we’re q...

In this episode, I’m sharing what went through my mind after someone newly diagnosed with neurosarcoidosis told me that hearing my voice helped calm their fear. I’ve lived with sarcoidosis for twenty years, and during that time, my relationship with mortality has changed. I still want more life, more ordinary mornings, and more time with the people I love. But I no longer want fear of death to consume the days I’m still here to live. I’m talking about acceptance, suffering, uncertainty, and the ...

In this episode, I talk about an email accusing me of sounding too positive to be believable. I’m looking at why hope doesn’t erase pain, why gratitude isn’t denial, and why sick people shouldn’t have to perform despair to prove they’re suffering. I share what fear, breathlessness, fatigue, medical trauma, and uncertainty actually feel like in my life, while explaining why humor and warmth are still allowed in the same room. I’m not pretending illness is easy. I’m refusing to let it speak for al...